Part 1
#1 According to Floyd (the family Christmas Carol expert), I sound just like Jacob Marley dragging his chains when I’m clumping down the hallway with the walker.
#2 Life no longer moves at the speed of light as it used to when all the kids were home and we were working full-time jobs. Now, it’s the speed of erosion. The fast lane has become a parking spot. And not the fun ones we used to find when we were younger. Everything takes longer to accomplish. It’s not a matter of packing several chores into one day. It’s more like spreading a chore over several days.
#3 Laundry is doable but it’s a challenge since our washer and dryer are in the basement. I can’t do stairs yet at all. Floyd can do stairs with the rail and his cane for balance, which means he can’t carry a basket. So I throw the laundry down the stairs to the landing. Floyd whacks it down the rest of the way with his cane. When the laundry is done, he brings everything back up on his shoulder in a Sam’s cold bag. Our only problem is agreeing on the acceptable level of dryness clothes must attain to be considered done.
#4 Between pain medicine, post-surgery exhaustion, and physical therapy, I can only stay awake so long. So, for now…
that’s all she wrote.
Part 2
#5 Joining the knee-replacement club is not all that fun upfront, but I hear after you pay your dues to the physical therapists, the membership benefits are worth it. Let’s hope…
#6 Tennis balls on a walker act as Swiffers which is both good and bad. Good because cleaning is getting done even if it is only a couple of square inches at a time. Bad because it makes me wish Peanut and Zuzu were hairless cats.
#7 Gravity and I are fighting. I was mad at it already for what it’s been doing to my body as I age. But now it’s convinced the therapists that it can help straighten my leg naturally by tugging down on it as I prop it up. What a con artist. Its other evil game has been to make everything I touch end up on the floor, requiring me to pick it up. Its goal is to see if it can make me trip and end up on the floor, too. So far, I’m winning.
#8 I’m now calling my jeggings compression pants.
#9 A plus side of Floyd going through all he went through before is that now we are fully equipped with everything from the leg lifter, to the sock putter oner. Oh, and let’s not forget nearly every PT torture device invented. It’s also nice that he has been through the pain and suffering himself and understands that helping me go through is another expression of love.
#10 It is not a good idea to call Direct TV to have a receiver replaced when one party can’t climb stairs and the other party forgets to wear his hearing aids or take his cell phone or make sure the house phone extension is plugged in and working.
BUT, after lots of yelling messages up and down, me interpreting what the tech support person is telling Floyd to do, and Floyd finally using the highly effective tech option of stomping on the floor to let me know he needs me to pick up the extension downstairs, the problem has been solved.
#11 Having a sense of humor should be a requirement for anyone considering a knee replacement.
Have a good week,
Dale